Yes, The World Can Be Cruel

Yes the world can be cruel
It can be sad and cold
It can be frightening and dreadful

But it can also be hopeful
It can be loving and warm
It can give fascination and drive ambition

Today, my world can get pretty frightening at any given minute. One comment or view of our economy can send my mind into this panic. It’s like everything is fine and my hopes are up and then something just reminds me that everything really isn’t okay. I have spent the first 22 years of my life dreaming up this outstanding future. Then the past three years I have understood what it takes and how it feels to live out these dreams. Now, it is all gone. Uncle Sam has taken away my freedom to live my dreams. How can you lose freedom in a free country?

That is how I feel at times, but I know Uncle Sam didn’t do this “to me”. I have faith that God did this “for me”, but this view doesn’t always hang strong in my head. When I panic, these are the things that run through my head:

When am I going to get a job?
Will I even like the job?
How can I interview for a job I don’t want?
Even if I like the job will it pay me enough to live on my own?
Will I really have to move back to Montgomery and get trapped?
Will my relationship with my parents suffer if I move back to Montgomery?
Will I be single forever because I refuse to settle just to be married?

Some day this will be over. It may not be any time soon, but that just means I need that much time to become what I need to be. I know I will be different when this is all over, and I look forward to meeting her. Hopefully I will become a writer beyond my expectations, but I may not. I know I will get through this, simply because of how I live my life and who I live in it with.

Each day is different. Some are good, some are alright and some are just bad. I know there are a lot of people who are out there in my same position and I feel for them. I do. I just can’t seem to find comfort in that knowledge. I am not going to be comforted knowing there are others hurting like I am or even worse than I am. Taking comfort in that will not change anyone’s situation; it will only make me greedy or selfish. Maybe I already am, but I honestly don’t feel that way. We just somehow need to come together as a union and just stop taking.

I know tomorrow will be different, but today, I am sad.