Monday, September 12, 2011

5 am feeding*

just put them in the play pin
turn on the tv
throw a few Cheerios in the pin
and go back to bed
they will be fine

*this is the truth of my sister's upbringing
mine is not yet clear

Thursday, September 1, 2011

this is NOT a medium

when did fountain drink sizes triple in size?
i ordered a medium diet coke
this is it:

i have to use two hands...two hands!!

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

early bird special

Growing up my family did not really venture out of the house much for dinner. I am not sure if it was a financial thing, or if my sister and I were really just that embarrassing in public, but dinner at a restaurant was reserved for birthdays only. Oh, and of course there was only one restaurant we went to - Jubilee Seafood. I really cannot complain here. Jubilee is still my favorite restaurant on Earth, so I guess you could say I really lucked out there.

The other week my parents celebrated their wedding anniversary, and they were nice enough to invite me to dinner with them. Guess where we went. :) So, I get off work a 5:00 pm, drove across town to get home and at 5:30 pm my phone rings. It's mom, "Ready for us to come pick you up?" I mean really??? It's 5:30! I asked for at least 15 more minutes and at exactly 5:45 pm she knocks on my door.

Humph. Defeat. Fine. Let's go, mom.

We arrive to a nearly empty parking lot which not surprisingly reflects the status of customers inside the restaurant as well. They seat us in the back and promptly bring us a drink. Mom sits back in her chair and looks around all high and mighty and says in her best southern gossip voice, "Hum, looks like business isn't doing too well does it?"

"Mom, it's 5:45 pm."

Thursday, August 25, 2011

oh wait, jimmy!!

So, I was sitting on the floor the other day at my parents house looking at something on the laptop.
Dad asked me to look up some marinade recipe for him.
We found it and he asked me to email it to him.
So, I said "I can just click on this button right here, put in your email address and it will email you the recipe directly from the website."

Mom piped in and said, "Oh wait, Jimmy!" Then she kinda hesitated. I think she knew what was about to happen to her. Then she continued in a slow, hesitant voice, "Can she still email us if the computer upstairs is turned off?"

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

much needed mass market beach vacation

it was brilliant
bright red and royal blue walls
flip flops around every corner, on every wall, on every possible piece of furniture
margaritas dancing about the kitchen walls
a plush royal blue, pleather couch peeling off your skin
4 women, 1 outlet
and this...

that's right - it's water
spewing over our heads as we enjoy one last night cap
night time sprink and drink

it has been a while sense i laughed that hard
for two days straight
we didn't care we couldnt see the beach
we helped peel each other off the couch
and we waited up for the geiser to return
as if it was santa himself

and we rode the merry-go-round

what more could you ask for?
other than seaweed

it was nothing a good beer on ice couldn't fix

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

an angel wrote...

the greatest email ever sent to me, and it was sent to just me...

"When I read this, I just had to pass along to you, my 2nd daughter.
In the Bible, Ruth patiently waited for her mate Boaz. Ladies, while waiting for your Boaz, do not settle for ANY of his relatives including; Brokeaz, Lyinaz, Cheatinaz, Dumbaz, Downlowaz, Goodfornothinaz, Lazyaz, Cheapaz or Marriedaz and especially his third cousin, Beatinyoaz"

the end

Monday, July 25, 2011

too much?

So I was asked by our Business Development Director to write a short and fun bio of myself to place on our website.

Here is what I submitted:

"Searcy Yoder is our Senior Program Manager, but most importantly she is the beacon we all strive to reach. Her light fills the office each and every morning, and our worlds are just that much better at the end of every day simply because she is in it. Searcy has never been much of a traveler, but her impeccable creativity allows her to envision the experience of just about any destination. No doubt about it, this girl is surpassing all of our expectations. Who knows, you may see the phrase “Vice President” after her name in the near future.
And yes guys, she is still available. It is shocking to us all."

It was rejected. Still not sure why. Oh well.