Our Christmas Stories

Everyone has their own traditions and own memories of what Christmas is like for their family each year. Some travel to see different points of the earth and take in a variety of cultures. Some stay snuggled up at home for days and enjoy the heartfelt theory of family time. Some even seem to fill up their living room with ungodly amounts of presents even though there is a recession looming onto our nation. My Christmas doesn’t completely fit into one of these categories, but has an amazing concept all of its own…….humor.

First you must come to know my sister, Anne Harmon. She lives in Atlanta, GA where she pretty much runs the social calendar for the town and maybe weighs 110 pounds. I mean she is pretty hot, but she definitely has the charm and the humor thing going strong for her too. Every year at Christmas we start texting and calling each other on a daily basis to plan for the big Holiday season, emotionally and fashionably. We have parents who honestly just want us with them for Christmas. Mom and Dad would never think twice if we never brought home another Christmas present again. Now that being said, we would never do that because it would break my poor mom’s heart. See where I am going with this?

Let me explain. My immediate family has the amazing tendency to over react to situations. We still celebrate the good things happening in life, but come on, where is the humor in positive action? We simply want to bring up all the harsh and embarrassing moments of the past year, so we can mock ourselves in order to bring peace and joy to all creation.

There is this span of about maybe five to seven days surrounding Christmas Day when my family either hosts or attends a gathering of some sort. It starts with aunts, uncles and cousins on the Sunday before Christmas, trailing into multiple nights of spur of the moment cocktail hours with neighbors and long time friends, and then it peaks when we make it through the doors of the local watering hole after we have walked the red carpet at our Christmas Eve service (where, hands down, Ann Wilson Aman will always look better than us). So, basically, Christmas is a time when we are allowed to consume as much alcohol we deem necessary, while my sister and I begin the trails of the traveling jesters.

So what are the hot topics this year? Oh let’s see. We start with a little, haha Searcy lost her job this year and had to move in with her parents after seven years of complete independence. Then we sprinkle a little, “Did ya’ll hear about my mother and her luncheon group’s trip to the shooting range?” And then we top it off with a big “Anne Harmon is bringing home a boyfriend, and his name is Even Williams. Dad, didn’t you drink that for about twenty years when you were saving money to put us through school?” What makes each year complete is my sister’s ability to tell each story in my mother’s strong, southern accent, and my ability to stay out too late and “ruin” Christmas Day.

For the record, I was home at ten o’clock last night, and up before everyone else this Christmas Day, but I did manage to piss my mother off before 6 am by screwing up the washing machine. Nothing says Merry Christmas in this house like a few over dramatic deep breaths and some stern talkin’!

All I want for Christmas is to never lose the humor in my family. Times are getting hard in the world right now, and I truly believe if we can just sit back and laugh at ourselves in pure humility, we will all be just fine.

Happy Holidays!