I can’t stop thinking about the moments lining up in front of me
Are they blank
Are they promising
Are they moving backwards
What direction will I be moving tomorrow
If I leave will I be giving up or following the truth
Am I leaving something behind
Something I can’t live without
Will I be curious or regretful
Am I walking in the right direction
Is this the way to my life
Do I need to turn around or do I need to start running
It’s as if I can only see a few feet in front of me and the rest is dark
Pitch black
What is up ahead and do I really know what is left behind
How long will it be until there is an answer
Any answer
Just something to give me an idea of where I am going
What will happen to me
Have I been following my dreams only to lose them
Or are they still leading me home
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
A New Adventure
My Father said something really good yesterday. He said, "There are times in our lives when we seem to think we will never see the other side of the distress we are currently in, but then one day you will 'wake up' and realize you are on the other side and you feel no more turmoil". I can completely attest to that. I went through hell when I was leaving Destin and one day, I was talking to Laurel about it and realized, I was on the other side. Being on this "other side" is what has allowed me to have the attitude I have had the past 24 hours.
The economy sucks. It sucks even more when it costs you your job. Yesterday morning I was laid off from my job as the Director of Events for the Southern Breeze Wine + Culinary Festival. I finally feel comfortable with commitment and commitment leaves me! Karma I tell ya.
The point of this email is not to gain sympothy at all. I know we are all falling on hard times and until yesterday morning I was in a mentality of "I am invensible". Guess what? I'm not.
Anyway, I have already learned some pretty great lessons:
1. This will not kill me, it will not put me in jail, and I will not live on the streets
2. There is no use in trying to lay blame on anyone, because this economy is forcing us all to make decisions and cuts we would never want to make.
3. Crying and pitty and feeling sorry for myself doesn't do anything but delay my progress.
So, if any of you are feeling the heat from the economy, pour some water on it and keep moving. The end of the world is not coming, a new adventure is just beginning.
The economy sucks. It sucks even more when it costs you your job. Yesterday morning I was laid off from my job as the Director of Events for the Southern Breeze Wine + Culinary Festival. I finally feel comfortable with commitment and commitment leaves me! Karma I tell ya.
The point of this email is not to gain sympothy at all. I know we are all falling on hard times and until yesterday morning I was in a mentality of "I am invensible". Guess what? I'm not.
Anyway, I have already learned some pretty great lessons:
1. This will not kill me, it will not put me in jail, and I will not live on the streets
2. There is no use in trying to lay blame on anyone, because this economy is forcing us all to make decisions and cuts we would never want to make.
3. Crying and pitty and feeling sorry for myself doesn't do anything but delay my progress.
So, if any of you are feeling the heat from the economy, pour some water on it and keep moving. The end of the world is not coming, a new adventure is just beginning.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Calling all Carnies!!!!
Once upon a time in a far away land I was the town Ringmaster. Every year I was responsible for putting together a weekend for locals and visitors alike to come and enjoy live music, eat anything fried, and purchase all possible decorations for your yard from gnomes, to metal herons, to wood carved dolphins. This was a weekend for any and all people to come out wearing whatever clothes they wanted, if any. It really does feel good to know that all my hard work and dedication to this circus made so many people feel comfortable enough to leave their dentures at home.
As a ringmaster you learn to become one with the life of the carnies, and while the big top is still up, you must allow yourself to become one, too. Well, my big top came down a few years ago and I decided to take some time away from town Ringmaster and move upward in this world. So, I moved to a town where i surrounded myself with Loser's. :)
Anyway, this weekend I was able to actually become a vendor at my local town's Big Top. For the first time, I got to sit back and actually take in all that you may see at a circus like this. I captured the scenery in my sketch book, but the fashion was only meant for the camera.
Enjoy.......
Oh where do I start on her? Cletus and Lou Anne decided to make their annual outing to the circus. Obviously he doesn't care to be seen, so he wore his best camo. This shirt works better than the sleeveless one. Lou Anne here has her fanny pack in check and once she gets the air flowing through the bottom of her pants, she is ready to go.
Now Grammy here, is taking a break to enjoy her Smirnoff Ice while she taps her foot to the beat of a country rock band. Nothing says Redneck Mothers, like long pleated shorts. At least she matches and wore her finest jewels to the Big Top.
This little girl is who I aspire to be. Some of you have seen me try. She has allowed herself to become lost in the sounds of the Cajun Rock Band. God love her.
Of course there is an understood rule that if you do NOT go to the gym, you lose the ability to wear your shirt at the circus.
I had no idea that wearing all the same color had come back in style. Now where did I put my neon outfits and t-shirt ties?
I believe Randy Rogers said it best when he sang: "The ringmasters night gets lonely after the Big Top comes down. Cause I go from being somebody to just another clown when the circus leaves town."
As a ringmaster you learn to become one with the life of the carnies, and while the big top is still up, you must allow yourself to become one, too. Well, my big top came down a few years ago and I decided to take some time away from town Ringmaster and move upward in this world. So, I moved to a town where i surrounded myself with Loser's. :)
Anyway, this weekend I was able to actually become a vendor at my local town's Big Top. For the first time, I got to sit back and actually take in all that you may see at a circus like this. I captured the scenery in my sketch book, but the fashion was only meant for the camera.
Enjoy.......
Oh where do I start on her? Cletus and Lou Anne decided to make their annual outing to the circus. Obviously he doesn't care to be seen, so he wore his best camo. This shirt works better than the sleeveless one. Lou Anne here has her fanny pack in check and once she gets the air flowing through the bottom of her pants, she is ready to go.
Now Grammy here, is taking a break to enjoy her Smirnoff Ice while she taps her foot to the beat of a country rock band. Nothing says Redneck Mothers, like long pleated shorts. At least she matches and wore her finest jewels to the Big Top.
Watch out for Herbie and the General Lee. They have been at this motorized wheel chair thing for a while and well, all I have to say is The General was not too happy when Herbie ran over her foot in the funnel cake line.
Just takin' a break here in the shade honey. I will be fine over here by the beer booth. These nice young men will take real good care of me, don't you worry your little head. Now go on and get Grandma that jeweled plant hanger we say a few miles back. I promise I won't drink a thing.
Words cannot describe the cut off demin capris on this sweet old man. I guess the tractor broke down on his way to the circus and the walk just got to be too much.
This little girl is who I aspire to be. Some of you have seen me try. She has allowed herself to become lost in the sounds of the Cajun Rock Band. God love her.
Of course there is an understood rule that if you do NOT go to the gym, you lose the ability to wear your shirt at the circus.
I had no idea that wearing all the same color had come back in style. Now where did I put my neon outfits and t-shirt ties?
Ok, I must admit, I don't think twice about going barefoot to the FloraBama, but come on. I wonder if they used the port-o-potties.
By the way, this is for REAL my new boyfriend. I mean who can't resist the royal blue onesie? But I am not sure he knows exactly where he is. He did try to agrue that the sun rises in the North and sets in the South and that he gets up early to milk his chickens every day. I'm not to sure if he will be able to provide for me so I best keep looking.
Now I am going to miss all my old chums here at the Big Top. Come Monday all the trailors will be packed and the RVs will set off into the sunset taking this Carnival to the next town.
I believe Randy Rogers said it best when he sang: "The ringmasters night gets lonely after the Big Top comes down. Cause I go from being somebody to just another clown when the circus leaves town."
Thursday, October 2, 2008
The Shepherd or the Sheep?
Proclaim a position….and define your existence…..
The prophet that hath a dream, let him tell a dream; and he that hath my word, let him speak my word faithfully. What is the chaff to the wheat, saith the LORD? - Jeremiah 23:28
If you have been steadily reading my blog entries you will very easily see the pattern of dreaming. It is a simple theme to life, but yet still challenging to live by. Growing up my parents encouraged me to dream as big as I could. I can remember one afternoon I was watching a Michael Jackson “Heal The World” video, and of course I was singing and dancing my heart out in the middle of the room, eyes glued to the screen. My father came in and hugged me and told me he just knew I was going to somehow change this world. He didn’t know how, but he knew I would do it. I’m not too sure if I have or will accomplish that, but it allowed me to actually believe in the ability to live out my dreams, to at least start with changing my world.
Today we have so many things to sway our thoughts and our view points. The media shows us more than we need to see while skewing it to make us believe only one side of every situation. We have Presidential candidates claiming to be the one to change the world this go round, yet neglecting to tell us how. So you can see how it becomes hard to know who to believe, or who to follow. But who says we have to be the sheep?
A few years ago I was in a relationship and in a state of being where I was a sheep who was so far in the back of the herd I couldn’t even see the shepherd. I wish I could tell you of this great epiphany I had that changed my thinking and my way of life, but I can’t. All I can tell you is that when I was going through a certain kind of hell, I prayed each and every day for God’s strength and His knowledge. He gave me the strength to pack up and leave town. He gave me the knowledge to know I didn’t need to follow my heart this time, because it was a little tampered.
I now know that my dreams are still real and I can still live them. It doesn’t matter what someone else may think about my opinions, my wants, my desires or my views because they are mine to know and understand, not someone else’s. My heart lies in my dreams and the only failure I could ever have in life is not living them.
If there is ever an opinion or a view point you believe in, do not ever question it based on what you believe others may think. Take your mind and develop it to be what you want it to be, don’t let someone else come in and take over. You will never be able to really understand what life has to offer us in this short time we have.
Be your own shepherd. You may look back one day and see a world with your touch on it.
The prophet that hath a dream, let him tell a dream; and he that hath my word, let him speak my word faithfully. What is the chaff to the wheat, saith the LORD? - Jeremiah 23:28
If you have been steadily reading my blog entries you will very easily see the pattern of dreaming. It is a simple theme to life, but yet still challenging to live by. Growing up my parents encouraged me to dream as big as I could. I can remember one afternoon I was watching a Michael Jackson “Heal The World” video, and of course I was singing and dancing my heart out in the middle of the room, eyes glued to the screen. My father came in and hugged me and told me he just knew I was going to somehow change this world. He didn’t know how, but he knew I would do it. I’m not too sure if I have or will accomplish that, but it allowed me to actually believe in the ability to live out my dreams, to at least start with changing my world.
Today we have so many things to sway our thoughts and our view points. The media shows us more than we need to see while skewing it to make us believe only one side of every situation. We have Presidential candidates claiming to be the one to change the world this go round, yet neglecting to tell us how. So you can see how it becomes hard to know who to believe, or who to follow. But who says we have to be the sheep?
A few years ago I was in a relationship and in a state of being where I was a sheep who was so far in the back of the herd I couldn’t even see the shepherd. I wish I could tell you of this great epiphany I had that changed my thinking and my way of life, but I can’t. All I can tell you is that when I was going through a certain kind of hell, I prayed each and every day for God’s strength and His knowledge. He gave me the strength to pack up and leave town. He gave me the knowledge to know I didn’t need to follow my heart this time, because it was a little tampered.
I now know that my dreams are still real and I can still live them. It doesn’t matter what someone else may think about my opinions, my wants, my desires or my views because they are mine to know and understand, not someone else’s. My heart lies in my dreams and the only failure I could ever have in life is not living them.
If there is ever an opinion or a view point you believe in, do not ever question it based on what you believe others may think. Take your mind and develop it to be what you want it to be, don’t let someone else come in and take over. You will never be able to really understand what life has to offer us in this short time we have.
Be your own shepherd. You may look back one day and see a world with your touch on it.
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