So you know how I mentioned I am trying my hand at song writing? Well, I have been writing things down here and there but nothing really falling together yet. The other night that ADD man was back and I couldn’t sleep. I need to mention too that my doctor took me off of “the pill” to try and get rid of these headaches. So my emotions are all over the place. I started crying and I mean boohooing the other night over something that happened seven years ago!!!!! Really?
Anyway, so I couldn’t sleep because I was sad. So I sat up and just wrote about it. It is a topic that is really personal to me and I didn’t know if I wanted to write a whole song about it or just make a reference to it in another song. I mean I guess I can do both.
So, this weekend I let a good friend of mine read what I wrote. He has written a few songs, and so he was really interested to see what I came up with. I would LOVE to be able to write songs for a living. How cool? So when he read my thoughts, why in the world did I feel butt naked!?
I seriously had to walk outside and find something to occupy my mind. I felt like someone had just pulled my dress over my head. You know that feeling of complete vulnerability and humility? And I do not mean the funny kind!! I love embarrassment and embrace it at any given moment, but this was a completely different feeling.
I know everyone has had the dream where you are all of a sudden naked at school. Well that is the feeling I had in the clearest way I could explain it. I guess this goes back to my first blog posting when I talk about writing being a form of complete vulnerability.
I just all of a sudden got scared that every word I wrote down was stupid, and some of them were! I didn’t want him to read it and be like, “Oh crap, now I have to fake that I like it.” I wanted to be anywhere but there at that moment. But it ended well. He is a sweet friend. He came outside with a really great look on his face and said he wanted to work on it with me. He was honest!!! It was not great, but it was words and they were true.
3 comments:
that's great!! good for you. everyday you are learning to be the person you are...how existential.
I am ready to come back to the beach...miss you!
how cool!
who's putting these to music?
you should see if you can find a songwriting class (they prob don't have those everywhere, eh!? ha!) or get a good book, research online, etc..about the art of sonwriting --- how many subjects and emotions you should have, length, verses, hooks, etc...
I've always thought that would be so interesting to explore and it changes the whole experience for folks I know who are educated about it!
You could totally write awesome songs...
Don't be timid about writing words down. Embrace your thoughts and they will lead you home...
When can I come stay with you at the beach??
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