I literally have been laying in the bed for over an hour trying to silence all the thoughts running around in my head. I swear I have a little A.D.D man running around trying to herd cats in my head.
What time am I going to get up in the morning so I can get to work early enough to map out a weekly plan that gives me time to do my work and gives my new employee enough responsibilities to fill up her days? How am I going to convince wine distributors who are struggling in today’s economy to take a gamble on my event? I need to get more restaurants to participate in my Brunch, but the only way to reach these people is to walk into their kitchens which are two hours away from where I live.
By the way, this weekend is my birthday and what in the hell am I going to do!!?? I feel guilty for taking the time to enjoy myself and let loose when there is way too much to worry about at work right now.
Among all of this I have been trying my hand at writing songs. I don’t like anything that has come out of my head so far. It’s like I can feel the words to about 10 different songs in my head, but for some reason I can’t get them to come together to make any sense. I want to write about Ford, I want to write about David, about Loser’s, about taking the time you have right this second to do all the things you have ever wanted to do. Do I want to exaggerate a story to make a better song, or do I want to stay true to myself and tell it like it is? GET OUT…...
You know how people say you close a chapter in life and start on a new one, or you are turning a page? I fee like I am turning. Like my page is somewhere in the air on its way to a complete turn.
I have been having these headaches every day for about 5 months and they seem to be getting a little stronger. I don’t think I EVER had headaches before. So now, I am going off birth control to see if that is the cause. Great. Take away the one thing that keeps my moods and hormones on a predictable and controllable path so for the next three months I will just be a hormonal bitch with a headache. That will help get all these cats herded.
I mean, I just wish this page would turn so I could know what it is my thoughts are trying to get out. I swear this better be a damn good song stuck in my head.
P.S. I tend to write multiple blogs at one time, so read the one below here. It is new too.
4 comments:
You would be a perfect songwriter...you definitely have the imagination for it!
I know you used to listen to Eric Church with Laurel on your drives...maybe "Livin' Part of Life" will help you through while this page is turning.
Love you!
oooo P, good sugggestion!
First of all...I love this post.
I love your honesty and they way you put all those emotions into words....beautiful!
I am aching for you becuase I remember those days of waking up in the middle of the night to make lists so the a.d.d man in my head would stop running around & I could get some sleep and the endless headaches.
Hang in there. Good things will come!
Please let me know when you are done with your songs and I will be glad to sing them for you. We both know how beautiful my voice is. We will be stars!!! But that may mean you might have to move back to Nashville ;) Miss you like the beach misses the sun!
i think you need a Derek Shepard.
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