"Apologies can appear in many forms. Some as simple as saying 'I'm sorry', some as tender as a touch and some as exciting as a bizarre act. But when it all boils down, apologies are a way of pealing back the layers and making yourself completely vulnerable for a chance at gaining back what once made you smile. So, how do you apologize to yourself?"
Not too long ago, I had a bad day. Not one where my boss was mean to me, or I couldn't stop dropping everything. It was one of those days that something reminded me of something I once did that I actually do regret. There aren’t many things in my life I regret, honestly. If it weren’t for all the falls, bruises and slaps in the face, I wouldn’t be as happy or as sure of myself as I am today. So, I started my journal entry with this paragraph on apologies, and I just let my emotions take over the pages.
Now let’s not get too carried away. I didn’t commit a crime or do anything worthy of juicy gossip. Most people would probably brush my regret right off their shoulder, but it is just something that grabs me. Something that makes me stop and look hard in the mirror when I think about it. After I wrote about it in my journal I had such a sense of accomplishment of getting all my anger and frustration out of my body and onto the paper so I could close this poison out of my thoughts.
But there was something truly important it did not accomplish. It didn’t make me change the way I thought about myself or help me take a step in a different direction. I closed out my thoughts for that day only to allow them to surface again on another day. So, here is my change in direction….
When do we ever take the time to thank ourselves? We all grew up in the South and are quick to thank someone for holding open the door, letting you into traffic, handing over a receipt or even making an impression on your life, but when do we stop and thank ourselves for doing something worthwhile?
So Searcy,
Thank you for knowing when to pack up and get out of a relationship that was draining who you really are.
Thank you for having the guts to move to a city full of people who are bigger than you and more successful than you and just jump in the middle!
Thank you for living on the seat of your pants and taking a job that brought you back to the water.
Thank you for making a life that is yours and not someone else’s.
And thank you LORD for not being dependent on anything other than your soul.
Stop apologizing….
4 comments:
Whoa Baby GREAT post!!! Thank you Searcy, for always being YOU!
Great Post!
While I have had a strict rule for most of my adult life to not regret anything, I deal with anything I might be "sorry for" exactly the same way you do....in my Gratitude Journal. Each night I make myself write down my thoughts good, bad, what's weighing on me, etc...but in a positive format. It's amazing that at the end of the day those small worries or bad actions that seem so big in the moment really aren't so big -- we have so many other things to be thankful for that it really puts it all into perspective.
Great post Searc! You're exactly right, we don't take the time to thank ourselves enough.
I live with the philosophy that regret only makes life harder. Instead of living with regret, I take what I learned from the situation and see how it changed me. Regret does nothing but drag you down...see what you learned and grow from it!
You're on your way!
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