Not Really What I Had In Mind

Ugh, the title of my blog is getting on my nerves. What it means now is definitely NOT what I intended it to mean when I first started this blog. I did not mean home like as in my parents house. I meant like the area maybe? Somewhere close by or somewhere that reminded me of home, but of course God won. Again.

P.S. this post is referring to the former title which was "Chasing Your Dreams May Lead You Home" = gag me, I know!

I Miss Singing

i miss singing

with the windows down

not caring about the car next to me at the red light

belting at the top if my lungs as i move from room to room

not wondering what the neighbors must be thinking

i knew i was good

how all my practice had paid off

that singing on the treadmill actually sounded good

i miss singing

keeping it as my secret

not letting my friends know how good i was

planning to one day take the stage

shocking them all

never an intention to make singing my profession

despite the countless offers

but only for fun with my friends

people beg me to go on tour

but no, not me

i'm just in it for the fun

not the spotlight

the music industry's best kept secret

i miss singing

the extra boost

better than the blackest coffee

the way my mind drifts into stories

without limits

the connection it builds with another

when you start tapping to the same rhythm

how it calms the night

justifies the tears

explains the pain

stretches the smile

i miss singing

but not anymore

my windows are down

there is a long drive ahead

i will have my voice back in no time

do not worry

just keep your eye on the stage

Back To The List

So I have a great connection who has helped me get back on my list in life. He put me in touch with someone who can help me learn to play the harmonica and below are some of the questions he asked me in order to get a better feel of how he can help me. I already know I like this guy because these questions tell me how much he cares. He asked me if he has soul, I don’t even think I need to ask if he does.

Please enjoy...

Original Questions

What's given you the desire to want to learn to play?

Are you influenced by a particular player or genre of music. Blues perhaps? If so who/what?

The harmonica or (harp) is an instrument that takes allot of "feel" or "soul" to really play well. Do you have it?

Do you own any harmonicas, if so what type and what keys

Any other info you'd like to share would be great like, do you aspire to play live, do you sing, what's in your CD player right now etc.

My response

Jeff - I love this email! I can tell what music really means to you and that you do not look at me or anyone looking to learn as just another lesson. I am going to answer your questions below, but keep in mind I could write a novel for each answer. :) Thank you for asking me these.

The desire to play: I keep a list of things I want to be sure I accomplish in life in my wallet. For the first 5 years out of college I lived by that list. For the past year I have been in a big slump and have honestly forgotten about it. To me, forgetting this list is no way to live. Why the harmonica in particular? Simply put, I think harmonica players are bad asses. I can hear a harmonica in just about any song it is in (at least I think I can. I guess I wouldn't know if I didn't hear it), at least it stands out to me. All instruments allow the artist to express their soul and tell a story in a fitting format for their personality. This is how I want to tell my part of the story. You know when you are really getting into a song and you just want to pick up an instrument and jam along with it? Well, my mind automatically wants to pick up the harmonica, whether it is in the song or not. Wow, enough for this question - sorry.

Influence of music: I like all types of music. I would say country is my biggest, but not like that Tim McGraw or Rascal Flatts crap. More like the old school stuff and Texas country. Clint Black has an amazing harmonica solo on an old CD that I will be able to die happy if I can learn to play it. In my CD player right now is GLove, they have some good harmonica on there. My ipod has 311, Joss Stone, Cross Canadian Ragweed, Miranda Lambert, Stevie Wonder, OCMS, Counting Crows and please tell me you are a fan of Jupiter Coyote. I may be a last name standing on that one. The ipod has a lot of other stuff too, but I think these give you an idea. I mean, who doesn't have Lady Gaga on their ipod?

I absolutely love live music and have the urge to play a harmonica every time I go hear live music. When I say I love to sing, I really do not think I am expressing it enough, but NOBODY would pay to hear me. I have always wanted to play music. I want to be able to sit around with my friends (who many of them do play) and let it all out. I don't care to play for money, but more for fun. I have a group of friends up in Nashville who have all started a front porch band. They literally have made a bass out of a tin bucket, a poll and string. Only a few knew how to play instruments already but others have learned as they go. That is the fun I want.

Soul: I would classify myself as having some soul. At least I think so and I really like my soul. I am a writer and a painter and one day hope that all my little random phrases can come together as a song or two.

I do not have a harmonica, so I am sure that is another investment I need to look into. About a year ago I bought a book on how to play the harmonica and a friend of mine got me a cheap one, but I took it apart to see what it looked like on the inside and it didn't match what the book had. Shortly after, life took some unexpected turns as it does and I had to pack everything into a 10 x 10 unit so the book is packed behind a couch and a washer and dryer.

I sure hope this helped and wasn't an annoying novel of an email. I totally understand being really busy right now as I am too, so keep emailing me if that is easiest for you.

Thank you for your help!

San Diego, CA - Travel Day 2

You can look at the description of my blog just above this and see that I want a lot of things in life. I want to be so many different thing when I grow up. Someone must have told the San Diego PRA this, because they literally took me from one extreme want to the other throughout the day. I started out as a trendy roof top event manager, to finding my hot military husband, to again being Lauren Conrad at the Grand Del Mar, to being number 14 for Tiger at Torry Pines, to having exclusive rights to a property even the President has to get approval on, to feeling the power of controlling a large sailing vessel, to standing on home plate of the Padres diamond. Which way do I go!!??

Claudia and Andrea from the San Diego PRA are amazing!!! There is no possible way anyone could be able to manage any type of event in San Diego and it be anywhere near what these two can make it. Our day was packed from 9 am to 6 pm and I was not ready for it to be over. I even learned that by working with PRA, after a certain amount of time employed there, you get a 6 week sabbatical. Umm Liz?

Here are the places we experienced and a little bit about them. Of course I have detailed pictures and even more notes on them, but this should give you an overview.

Diamond View Terrace:

This is a quaint and trendy roof top venue that overlooks the Petco Park (Padres' Stadium). You can see just about everything San Diego has to offer from this roof top and the outside fire places and furniture make it an ideal place to watch the game. The walls are made out of the same leather baseball mitts are made of and the ceiling even turns into an abstract baseball when lit up. Is has a classy baseball theme, but you could even host an event there and not have the baseball theme in your face.

Miramar Military Base:

I was blown away. Mainly because I have never seen a military base this up close. This military base is one of the two in the country that allow events to be held on the base, as this is also where they filmed the infamous Top Gun movie with Tom Cruise. So we walked through the ballroom and the patio and even the Officer's Club. There is so much character and respect here, your heart is kind of clinched the whole time. Then they took us out to the hangers. They have done some amazing events here using fighter planes and cargo helicopters as static displays. You can also request to have an officer seated at each table so as to engage in conversation about the aircraft and the base.

The Grand Del Mar:

O.M.G I do not even know what I did to be able to set foot in a place like this. I think I saw Al Pacino in the lobby. The Grand Del Mar has a Tuscan flare, and when I say "flare" I mean I was in Tuscany. The entrances, the doors and the railings were dipped in gold, the ballroom was designed after a Catholic church and the furniture.....ohhh the furniture. Everything was oversized and dark stained wood and their were fireplaces everywhere you turned. I am really not doing this any justice, but when the host tells you this is where high end celebs go to get away from the paparazzi, you feel like you have made it.

Torrey Pines:

I saw Barry Bonds. Well, he was on property while I was there. This is a great venue for golfers and the like. It is famous for its PGA Tour and Tiger Woods' membership. If you have a big golfing group headed out to San Diego, you cannot put them anywhere else. Torrey Pines is the best golf experience you can give your guests.

Evans' Garage:

So when we first heard of this venue on the itinerary, we tried to scratch it to give us some more time. This is exactly why you cannot create a better experience here than PRA can. This was not the place to scratch. Mr. Evans owns Torrey Pines and many other properties in San Diego. He also owns one of the most expensive and exclusive car collections in the world. This garage is no museum and in order to host an event here, you must be approved. Only corporate groups are allowed here and there is no local selling of the venue. Tracy who is the event manager and is someone I want to keep in my pocket. Her taste will always be better than mine.

America:

No not the country, but the America's Cup race boat. I have never known much about sailing but I certainly got a great taste of it aboard the America. This boat has been restored into a top notch sailing vessel. With all hard wood stained flooring and an Australian accent walking me through my sailing experience, I was in love. I walked to the back of the boat and stood with my hands on the wheel. As I looked up I could see the whole boat and I could feel the power of controlling this enormous vessel. To be in control of something so large in something so powerful as the ocean is what I imagine to be the Meca. After I got over my own selfish needs of the America, I saw it as an exceptional event venue for dining, whale watching and even a quick cocktail reception on the way to dinner.

Petco Park:

Oh I love baseball stadiums. There are so many cool things you can do there for groups and clients. Petco park definitely caters to this with the Sony Dugout Club House, private batting cages, Roof Top experiences, and Fantasy Baseball on the field, everyone will have fun - baseball fan or not.

As we entered the Padre's Stadium, the sun was going down on San Diego. It was breath taking. You can never get tired of a neon sunset. Not in my book.

San Diego, CA - Travel Day 1

Again, let us all remember I have only been on an airplane a handful of times and most of those times where when I was younger, so needless to say security and packing has changed. But I did really good this time. I had all my stuff in the checked bag and only a few small liquid items in my little plastic bags. I sailed through security, thank goodness. I really thought with all the new security they would have flagged the name "Yoder", but I was pleasantly wrong.

What I did not sail through easily was the Montgomery airport without knowing someone with every turn. Really? It is 5:45 am, why are you here? Between Liz and myself, we knew just about every passenger on the flight to Dallas-Ft. Worth. Apparently there was a group of 20 headed to Mexico to hop on a cruise ship with a local travel agent Liz knows. Half of the travelers either go to my church or knew me growing up.

Of course we cannot go anywhere without drawing attention to our selves so before we take off they come over the intercom looking for Liz as they did not notice her boarding pass was located on the back of mine; therefore, she was not accounted for on the plane. I mean, we walked right past you. It is 6:30 am in Montgomery, there was not an overwhelming crowd. So anyway, after I had to holler my last name down the aircraft at the attendant, even more acquaintances piped up. A couple sitting diagonally behind me immediately asked if I was Alicia Yoder's daughter. Of course, did you hear the way I talk? They used to live across the street from me growing up. I even had someone stand up from the back of the plane and walk up saying, "Hey Searcy, remember me? Johnny from car pool?" Really? I thought Liz was going to laugh herself unconscious. Who does that happen to?

Do not even think for one second that we had to suffer through a two hour lay over in the common area of the Dallas-Ft. Worth airport. When you are with Liz Sutton, somehow you magically end up relaxed in the Admiral's Club lounge. The place where your rear is cradled in a cloud. After a quick hug of Debbie's neck and a salad as large as my carry on, we were off.

I was lucky enough to sit next to a flight attendant from San Diego, so when we landed, or rather, when we had to circle the San Diego area before we landed, she was very helpful in pointing out everything in the city. It really was a treat. She even said if I looked closely I may see a whale breaching in the ocean. Even with my face plastered to the window like the 4 year old in front of me, no breaching was seen.

We landed in what the pilot announced as 77 degree weather, but in the clothes we had on after coming from weather in the 20's, we felt more like it was 87 degrees here. We also quickly realized we did not pack accordingly as our host said it would be in the mid to higher 60's. I immediately had to go shopping for new shoes when we arrived at the Hotel Del Coronado, or as they call it in short "The Del". Darn, emergency shopping, the trip was ruined.

The property is exceptional and much to my disappointment this is not where they filmed the summer series of Saved By The Bell when they worked at the beach club. No Mr. Carosi. The view is unimaginable and the property has a lot of character. Parts of the service were perfect, but of course there were others who needed some help. We had an outstanding tour of the property and I have loads of pictures.

We decided to walk to our dinner location just down the way. The hotel is located on what is referred to as Coronado Island and you can basically walk anywhere. Once we arrived at the restaurant we were greeted at the bottom of the stairs by a gentleman in a suit stating, "Good evening ladies, are you ready for your dinner?" I mean, was he waiting for me? Was the entire island notified these VIPs from Alabama would be here and must be treated as royalty? No, because after he lead me to the hostess stand, he went back out and greeted the next guest the same way. Darn, I thought I was Lauren Conrad.

Of course the day could not end with out a roaring Roll Tide. That is right, I am an Auburn fan but Liz Sutton is not. She said Roll Tide to everyone in the Montgomery Airport where she received a chorus of "Dat's rite"s. We were sitting in the bar of The Del when all of a sudden we were surrounded by Alabama fans. Somehow Liz met every Alabama fan within 2o feet after 5 minutes of being there. She has pixie dust.

90 Minutes in Heaven, and the Dallas-Ft. Worth Airport

I think we all have love-hate relationships with airports. I could go on about what I hate, but hey, it is a new year so let's start off on a good note.

I just finished reading 90 Days in Heaven while I was waiting for my co-worker to meet me in the Dallas-Fort Worth airport for our connecting flight to San Diego, CA. It seems as though everyone I have met who has read this book had a life changing experience. Most mornings I would find my mother in tears with her morning coffee as she read of Don Piper's religious experience with death. I never specifically asked anyone what it was about the book that changed them, but I was under the impression it had something to do with his first hand experience in heaven and how God worked through him. I must say I am glad I did not ask, because fortunately I got something else out of his story.

I cry at books. I cry at sad children and sad animals. I cry at commercials, soldiers and the news...every morning. Strangely, I do not think I cry that much about God. I does not mean He does not effect me, but I guess I have a certain level of understanding of Him and His love, I do not feel the need to cry at every religious experience I hear. So, when I read 90 Minutes in Heaven, I kept waiting for the big moment. I was a little concerned there was not going to be one when the whole heavenly experience was over in the second or third chapter. I thought that part was supposed to take my breath away?

To my surprise, something else about his story hit home for me. It was the examples of friends, acquaintances and strangers who selflessly acted for others. A retired preacher who did not have a close personal relationship with Don Piper, but had enough respect for him to put him in his place in order to help heal a part of Don's soul. A church member who was so excited Don allowed him to do something for him that he went down 22 floors just to collect every magazine he could hold so Don could choose. A young woman who drove 40 minutes each way to the hospital just to be able to give Don a strawberry milkshake. His son, laying his head on Don's chest each afternoon only hoping it helped just a little.

These are the acts that make life worth living. I wish I could say I have dedicated my life to this type of service, but I have not. When I do perform an act of this nature I feel good about myself, I feel connected to someone or something I did not know before, I see a difference in someone else's eyes. It is a time when strangers move together as one to help a brother or sister as we are all the children of God. Even if the service is a minor one, anything is more than nothing.

While I am sitting here in the airport and spend the next few days surrounded by strangers in San Diego, CA, I hope to help a little more. I smile at all children and tell their parents how beautiful they are, even if they are acting out. I smiled at the scary man on the plane nobody wanted to sit next to. I helped a woman who's child spilled her drink. I sat behind a mother with two girls she is having some difficulty calming down on the plane. The children have black on their teeth, but their manners are exquisite with "excuse me"s and "thank you"s. I do not know her story and I do not need to, but she needs to hear she is a good mother.

I realize this entry has a lot of "I"s in it and speaks a lot about how I feel and what I did and what I am going to do. I need to work on that. But what I hope you get from this is that the voice, the touch, the support of a stranger can change a life. It can give them just a moment they can think back on to keep it up, in hopes it will pay forward.

Maybe if I stop looking at things like the airport as frustrating and more like opportunity, a few more people will smile today.

New Year, New Attitude

I know it has been forever and I am so very sorry. I am sure most of my readers have given up and gone on to better bloggers that have much more to say. Isn't it so odd how for months I felt like I could write multiple entries a day and now I feel as though I have nothing to say?

As a quick update, I am still in Montgomery and working for a great company. Even though I have a great job and I am certainly greatful to have found it, I am not as happy as I have been in the past. I am not exactly sure if there is one specific reason, but it seems my mind and my heart are not working together as they once have.

I still dream all the time and have hope in those dreams, but it is as if right now I feel as though I have no way to achieve them. In the past each dream excited me and drove me to take action. I loved the feeling of reaching a dream, something I really did not think I would ever do. Now, I just feel like I need to leave them as they are....dreams. This is something I plan to change, now.

I have reached a point in life I think I have been trying to avoid for a while, so excuse me if I keep trying to avoid it. Most girls my age (that I know) are either married, married with children or trying to find a groom. I respect each of my friends because they are all so happy in their lives and in the different paths we have all chosen to take. As friends, I think we have all grown so much because in college, we all wanted the same things. I think a little bit of us all thought we would always want the same things as our friends. Now that we are older, we have all found ourselves and walked our paths as different as they may be. I seem to have stumbled a bit. No worries, I can take a stumble or 10, I just gotta figure out how to stay up on my feet.

I have made some goals for myself this year and made some promises to get myself back. No more crying. That does not get me anywhere. I want to write again, but I need to find something to say. I have been working (behind the blogging scenes) on some freelance writing. Working in the travel industry, I do have the opportunity to see some great places and experience some outstanding stories.

On Friday morning I will be flying out to San Diego, CA for a work trip. We will be going on site visit after site visit. I hope to have many stories, reviews and pictures. I have never been to California and the only time I have ever been to that side of the country, I spent an entire week in the woods on a river. So, this will be a culture adventure for me. I just need to remember my manners and my camera.