There are many words in the English language that have powerful meaning, but are used so frequently and so casually, that they seem to somehow lose their full definition or intent. Let me give you one example.
The word “support” is used for multiple purposes. It can be the brick and mortar that holds up a building, a friend who cries when you cry, or a sports team. For me, the word “support” is unbelievably powerful, and I am constantly thanking people for their support. The heartbreaking part about this is they never really know what I mean. They don’t really know what they did to support me. They know what they think they did to support me, but most of the time; this word means more than the casserole someone brought over when a loved one dies or the bed they made for me when I was out of a home. So, I haven’t actually properly thanked them.
Over the past month, I have had floods of support. My parents, sister, and friends have listened when I cried. They have said all the right and wrong things to try and keep my spirits up. They have sent out my resume to every person they have ever known, and have sent me job applications for anything from Special Events Director to bellman! These people know the pain in my heart, they know the sadness and fear I wake up to each day and they know the spirit in me that needs to be uncovered again.
So, I am trying to make it a point that I actually thank each of these people for not only the actions they have taken for me, but the feelings they have instilled in me. I want each person to know what they have actually done to impact my life at this moment. I don’t want them walking away from me with a simple, “Thanks for your support” in their hand. It all goes back to “do unto others, as you would have them do unto you.”
Make others feel the greatness they make you feel. Express yourself and your words.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Friday, November 7, 2008
Seven Years Today
Seven years ago today I lost the greatest person I believe I have ever met. What I didn’t understand then was that losing him was going to be the greatest lesson in my life. It was going to continuously mold me into who I am.
One of life’s simple pleasures comes when you reach a point of fully understanding another individual. When you can literally sit inside their head and see what they are seeing. You can change your perspective to completely view the world in their eyes. This doesn’t happen too often, but it is what I believe to be one component of love, and a very important one at that. Not just love of a spouse, but love of one another – a friend, a family member, co-worker, a child.
I only knew David for about two or three years before he passed, and boy was I swept away by his friendship. For the life of me I could not understand why God took him, because I knew he had so much more to teach me. I was right. David did have more to teach me, he just didn’t have to be here to do it.
I have mentioned before the list in my wallet of things I want to accomplish in my life. As silly as some of them may be, I know David will hold me to those things. If I think about giving up on one (which I often do) I automatically hear him questioning me. He still pushes me to do what I want, no matter the limits. That is what he did, and it gave him peace.
When you understand someone, you can’t really put it into words for someone else to read. It is an emotion, a knowledge, something you feel when it is present.
Today I woke up with a smile on my face remembering David. Now most of you do not know this about me and I am going to have to get a little personal in order to get this sweet story out, but a lot of times I sleep in my “birthday suit” (you know you do it too). Last night I went to sleep in said “suit” and at some point in the middle of the night I grabbed the t-shirt of David’s that I still sleep with and I had put it on. I had absolutely no recollection of doing this, but when I woke up it was bitter sweet. A hug.
Even though some people may not be in our lives anymore they are still hanging around. They are still loving, teaching and protecting us each and every day. I believe this with every ounce of my being, because I feel it and I understand it.
One of life’s simple pleasures comes when you reach a point of fully understanding another individual. When you can literally sit inside their head and see what they are seeing. You can change your perspective to completely view the world in their eyes. This doesn’t happen too often, but it is what I believe to be one component of love, and a very important one at that. Not just love of a spouse, but love of one another – a friend, a family member, co-worker, a child.
I only knew David for about two or three years before he passed, and boy was I swept away by his friendship. For the life of me I could not understand why God took him, because I knew he had so much more to teach me. I was right. David did have more to teach me, he just didn’t have to be here to do it.
I have mentioned before the list in my wallet of things I want to accomplish in my life. As silly as some of them may be, I know David will hold me to those things. If I think about giving up on one (which I often do) I automatically hear him questioning me. He still pushes me to do what I want, no matter the limits. That is what he did, and it gave him peace.
When you understand someone, you can’t really put it into words for someone else to read. It is an emotion, a knowledge, something you feel when it is present.
Today I woke up with a smile on my face remembering David. Now most of you do not know this about me and I am going to have to get a little personal in order to get this sweet story out, but a lot of times I sleep in my “birthday suit” (you know you do it too). Last night I went to sleep in said “suit” and at some point in the middle of the night I grabbed the t-shirt of David’s that I still sleep with and I had put it on. I had absolutely no recollection of doing this, but when I woke up it was bitter sweet. A hug.
Even though some people may not be in our lives anymore they are still hanging around. They are still loving, teaching and protecting us each and every day. I believe this with every ounce of my being, because I feel it and I understand it.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Change of Emotion
There is no hiding the fact that unemployment has been trying to get the best of me. As you can tell by my last post, I am a little confused as to what I am supposed to do next. Those feelings are still here, but each day I have more and more faith in the unknown. I am standing on a cliff looking down and knowing I have to jump, but not quite sure when.
For the past few weeks I have been completely down. I guess you could say I was a bit depressed, but the part that got me was that I knew I was depressed and that I didn’t need to be in that place. I was feeling so sorry for myself. Finally, I woke up one morning and said it was over. I filled my day with errands to run, bills to pay, a little sun shine and some exercise. I left the couch to fend for itself and applied for a few more jobs. I pushed out all the negativity and left only room for positive. I know my emotions will move up and down, especially with December creeping up and no plan in place, but I think I can handle the emotions. Just think, if we didn’t have emotions this sure would be one boring world.
I experienced something yesterday that made me realize I would much rather be in the position I am in right now than a lot of other positions I could be in. I was sitting in an empty resort café looking over the beach and talking with the manager. An older man walked in the door. My manager friend got up and silently poured a shot of vodka and handed it to him without a word being said. The man quickly inhaled his poison, asking for another. Once he was gone, my friend explained how this man comes into the café every day multiple times to get a shot of vodka. Supposedly his wife does not know he is an alcoholic, so he will sneak down to the café while going to “get the paper”, “do his laundry”, or “take a walk”. If he is ever to come into the café with his wife, the staff is supposed to act as if they have never seen him before. When I saw this man it was about 1:30 pm, and he had just been served his 7th shot for the day.
Makes you think….
For the past few weeks I have been completely down. I guess you could say I was a bit depressed, but the part that got me was that I knew I was depressed and that I didn’t need to be in that place. I was feeling so sorry for myself. Finally, I woke up one morning and said it was over. I filled my day with errands to run, bills to pay, a little sun shine and some exercise. I left the couch to fend for itself and applied for a few more jobs. I pushed out all the negativity and left only room for positive. I know my emotions will move up and down, especially with December creeping up and no plan in place, but I think I can handle the emotions. Just think, if we didn’t have emotions this sure would be one boring world.
I experienced something yesterday that made me realize I would much rather be in the position I am in right now than a lot of other positions I could be in. I was sitting in an empty resort café looking over the beach and talking with the manager. An older man walked in the door. My manager friend got up and silently poured a shot of vodka and handed it to him without a word being said. The man quickly inhaled his poison, asking for another. Once he was gone, my friend explained how this man comes into the café every day multiple times to get a shot of vodka. Supposedly his wife does not know he is an alcoholic, so he will sneak down to the café while going to “get the paper”, “do his laundry”, or “take a walk”. If he is ever to come into the café with his wife, the staff is supposed to act as if they have never seen him before. When I saw this man it was about 1:30 pm, and he had just been served his 7th shot for the day.
Makes you think….
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