Topics Discussed At Work Today by 8:50 am

When ironing a man’s shirt be sure to use a large full size ironing board. If you use the small, counter top ones the shirt will not fit on the board and then when you move to another section the shirt falls off and gets wrinkled again. This will cause you to throw the small ironing board across the room terrifying your children.

Saran wrap is the worst invention known to man.

I recently took a pair of pants to a well known local seamstress to have them hemmed. In summary, they were too short, so they “fixed” them and the hem was so loose it pulled out right in front of them. They would not fix the hem with out charging me. I snatched the pants up, stomped out of the store, and slammed their door as well as my car door. I really showed them.

Wire coat hangers. You try to get one down only to find five of them tangled together. You give the one you want a little shake to free it from its tangle only to have all five fall on the floor.

Life is hard.

Not So Dirty Little Secret

So I have this little secret, but do not get nervous, there is nothing dirty about it.

I am a faithful subscriber to Field & Stream Magazine and even have an account with www.fieldandstream.com, where I am known to enter photos in many of their unique photo contests. I do not think you actually win anything, but I LOVE seeing the pictures on the website. I feel so important, even though they are posted with over 100 photos. Oh well.

So, here is the latest and greatest photo entry and description. Maybe this one will win!!

Heidi is madly in love with her owner. She protects his new baby girl, cleans the floor and leads every hunt - even those in the back yard. No bird passes over her without her knowledge. There is not a word of English she cannot understand. She reminds me of the dog from Peter Pan who nannies the children. Heidi loves, protects and provides for all members of the family, extended members included.

People Come From Miles Around

I have never understood why there is so much to do in October. Maybe it is the excitement of the cool weather or the leaves beginning to change. It could be football starting back or even a celebration of life we have made it through another hurricane season. Regardless the reason, there are endless festivals, cook-offs and dare I say it, the Fair.

When I was a little girl, the fair in Montgomery was called the South Alabama State Fair. It has of course changed titles throughout the years, but it will ever to me be the South Alabama State Fair. The theme song constantly runs through my head this time of year, and people all around me want to kick me for singing it.

When I was in middle school my best friend, who is now Mrs. Sarah Plummer (+1), lived right by the fair and the fact that I could see the top of the ferris wheel from her house made her that much cooler. We always met up with the kids from school and blushed when we got to ride a ride with a boy. Actually, Sarah ALWAYS got to ride with a boy which I think may have happened once for me, but regardless, we still blushed.

The best was when Sarah’s dad would take us on a Saturday or Sunday morning when there was nobody there and just Sarah and I got to ride all the rides as many times as we wanted. I think she would still agree that hands down the Zipper was our favorite. We always rode that together and never only just once. The Zipper is one of those that flipped you upside down in the smallest cage known to man and your stomach flipped so much you laughed continuously throughout the whole ride.

I have not been to the fair, or any fair at that, for years. Now that I am home I have to say I am itching for it a bit. I really doubt I would fit in those little cages and well, let’s be honest, my stomach is not as strong as it used to be. So, this year I settled for another part of the fair that was completely foreign to me as a child. I entered a painting in the Art Contest.

My co-worker, Amy, was gracious enough to let me take my painting off of her wall for two weeks so I could have a chance at winning a quick $500. I ended up getting food poisoning during the time you had to enter your paintings, but God willing, Amy and I were going to get it there. I crawled into the Coliseum with my painting in tow, breaking a sweat one minute and freezing the next. I just knew I was going to win something for all of this. Wrong.

I got beat by a bunch of third graders!!!! First, second and third place went to all elementary school students and then there were about 5 honorable mentions, in which I did not receive one. There were plenty of entries around mine that won, but I got nothing. Not that I think I am better than everyone, because I am not, but if I cannot do better than elementary artwork, I need a new hobby.

Regardless it was fun doing it and I got a minute in the fair. I did not ride any rides, but I did try to get some of the legendary fudge. I wanted to cry when I saw it was cash only. If only I had won the art contest, I could have paid for the fudge.

And before I forget, I could never post this without including the old jingle for you:

People come from miles around

From the farms and from the towns

To where excitement will be found

At the South Alabama State Faaaaaaair

Pure poetry.

The soar loser...