Adventures of the Williford Household: Good Girl Heidi

“Hey, Tracy, did I show you these pictures? She was leading the hunt the whole time! Look at her. Isn’t she awesome?”

“Yeah, I see. She does look really great.”

“Here is the little hunter now. Hey Heidi, whatcha got there?
Oh my God. Heidi, drop it!!”

“What is that?!”

“I don’t know! I squirrel?”

“Where did it go?!”

“Watch out!!”

“Is it under my chair?!”

“Yeah, that’s a chipmunk.”

“Well, it is in shock now.”

“See, I told you she was good.”

Cane Etiquette

For the past few weeks my father has been walking with a cane. He is in need of a hip replacement, so until that happens, he has the cane. When I saw the cane for the first time I began planning my escape route. I just knew the cane would be this dark cloud over our house. It is not easy to have to rely on something else in order to walk, and I was terrified my father would be frustrated. I was wrong.

The whole purpose of the cane is to create an additional mobile support system for individuals needing a little extra assistance. I like to think of it as a railing you can take with you anywhere you go in order to hold on. It is not, however, to be used as an extension of your hand. Yes, there are a lot of cool things you can do with a cane and I think my father has gotten pretty close to figuring them all out. But here are a few cane tricks he is going to need to lay off of:

• It is one thing to talk with your hands, but it is a whole other story when you talk with your hands and do not put the cane down first. You find yourself with a rubber stump about an inch from your face. It can get a little distracting.

• My mother means well. She does. Sometimes she just talks at the wrong time. My sister and I have been trying to figure out a way to get her to stop interrupting and to stop trying to guess the rest of everyone’s sentences. My Dad found a way - the cane. Last night she would not let me finish what I was saying and my dad just popped her with the cane. Right there in front of everyone, he just popped her with it. We were all so taken back by it, that we could not stop laughing.....mom included.

• Hanging the cane on any possible surface in order to see if it will stay there, is not the point of the cane. What in the hell do you think happens when it falls and he cannot reach down to pick it up? I end up chasing a cane all over the house. I tell ya, being 27 and living with your parents is awesome.

In all honesty my Dad looks pretty cool with the cane. It kind of sends the “don’t mess with me” message. Like he could take you down with one quick flick of the wrist. Just ask mom, she knows.

Even though I am thrilled the cane did not turn into a black cloud for the Yoders, it has caused some inappropriate entertainment for my Dad. I am very thankful my dad decided to use the cane. I know it probably took mom a long time to make him see he really cannot walk without it, he is in some desperate need of Cane Etiquette.