Analytical Dream

I was racing down the interstate, late getting to my destination. There was a semi truck in the right hand lane and I needed to get around it. As I started to pass, the road started to curve. The semi began moving over into my lane with nowhere to go, but into the median. As I drifted I noticed it was not a semi at all. It was a Budweiser truck drawn by six dark, giant horses. Their hair and their tails flying high behind them in the wind as they charged ahead over 90 miles an hour.

I am driving in the median trying to stay on track and not lose control. The horses never stop; they keep pushing me over and over until I cross the other side of the interstate. The embankment on the other side of the road it a mass of dark brown mud. Mountains of soft, suffocating mud. The horses lose control, knocking me out of my car and into the mud. I am flying high and then sliding down the muddy hillside. The horses are still moving towards me, chasing me down the hillside. I am shoving my feet and my arms into the mud trying to slow myself down and stop the falling before the horses land on top of me. I can feel the mud consuming me, comfortably surrounding me and slowing suffocating me.

I cannot die. I cannot leave yet, I have too much to do. My mother will cry and my father will miss me. I have to beat the horses. I cannot let them fall on me.

The movement stops. I am lying at the bottom of the muddy hillside. I am alive. There is something wrong with my leg, but I do not care. I get up. I walk away the only survivor except for one horse. He is standing calmly in the middle of the road. He is waiting for me. He is my only way to get away from this place. I climb on his back and we ride together to find my parents, to find help. I see the police and the ambulance down the road, but they are so far away. Why are they so far down the road, when we are down here?

He takes me to them, to safety, as I lay on his back. He delivers me home, the only survivor.

Slipping Away

Slipping away
Beautifully
Quickly

Her legs no longer able to carry her
Finding strength in the arms of her sons
A soul that never fell when her body could not stand

Even when there is no will to eat
She hungers for us to stay
Too see our faces and know our stories

Slipping away
Beautifully
Quickly

When we think she is not with us
Her humor reminds us she is still here
Every bit of here is here now

She does not want to be left alone
To feel left out of the lives we share
But she is the reason we are all here
She is why we live and why we love

Slipping away
Beautifully
Quickly

The drawl of her voice is strong yet sweet
Reminding me it will all be alright
Her lingering gaze tells me what she wants to say
What words cannot express as beautifully as we can

I will sit with you and bring you comfort
As you have done every day before
You will live with in us
Never leaving our hearts, but protecting our souls

Slipping away
Beautifully
Quickly

Wisdom in Your Own God

The world we live in is filled with beautiful cultures, personal ideals and incredible opinions which all offer up a variety of “gods”. I personally dream that before I spend the rest of eternity with my God, I get to meet yours. We all have a faith in something much greater than ourselves, and I personally believe more in “faith” than I do in any other aspect of religion. I believe it is what our god and our ideals created in us in order to connect us as one. It is our communication channel keeping us on track.

Now, I have stayed away from writing about my personal beliefs and opinions, but I know this is one we can all stand to listen to, so hang in there. Just this morning I received an email devotional. I love getting these because it allows me to have a moment in the day to spark some thought and talk to Him about Him. Sometimes I do not get a chance to read them and honestly sometimes they just go right over my head and I talk to Him about something else completely. The one I received today sparked a little thought in my head about how I experience my God and how I understand His wisdom.

The following point was made: "Tap into His wisdom - by being in scripture consistently and by praying regularly - in order to know His desires for you."

My first thought was, “Who said this is how you understand His wisdom and why is that the only way?” I do agree with the fact that we learn more and more about His wisdom when we spend more time in his scripture and in prayer, but I do not think that is all we can do to understand his wisdom.

When I walk outside on a very sunny day and feel the rain pouring down on me, I understand that God can make “out of the ordinary” things happen, and so can I. When I hear Avery laugh as I walk in the room, I understand what real love is and why He loves me and why my parents and family love me. I gain wisdom more in actions, observations and experiences. I may lose someone I love through tragedy or simply through bad timing, but I grow in the wisdom of His plan. Although I think it is good to read the scripture and come to know it, I also think we need to raise our heads more often and live it.

There are so many cultures I hope to experience and so many gods I want to meet. I think we all have the same faith that connects us, because we believe in something that makes us who we are and makes us whole. These gods are alive and teaching us in what we see, what we feel, what we want and how we live. Everything about us reveals a faith in some form, we just have to stop and see it.

Finally - A Good Rush

I got such a rush today and boy have I needed it! I absolutely love putting myself out there to try something new and even take a few risks. For the past few months I have just felt like I could not find a way to try something new or really take a chance, but that all changed today.

Earlier this week I got a call from Tomatino's Pizza here in Montgomery asking if I could bring in come pantings to place on the wall. I believe I wrote to you earlier how I was torn on the idea of trying to sell these masterpieces (yeah right), but after today I am all for it! So they called and asked if I could be there at 1pm on Sunday. In less than a week I got a whole business plan together for these paintings. I do not want to look like I am putting all of my eggs in one basket, but I want to be ready if something else comes of this. So of course the first order of business was business cards from Mom! As soon as she got the news, her little printer started working. She made me some really classy business cards for Paintings by Searcy Yoder. Nothing outrageous in the title, just simple and the way it is.

Caroline from Tomatino's was so nice to coach me through this process considering I had no idea how to price or even how much space was available. She said a guy backed out and she needed to fill some space. I was thinking I maybe had room for like 2 of my reguslar sized pieces and then I could fill in with some small ones, just to get started. Thank goodness I decided to take all of my pieces today, because they ALL made the wall!!! I was so excited when I walked in and did not see one piece on the walls. I could not help but think, "No way this is all my space", and I was right. Half of the restaurant was mine!!! Unreal.

So if you are hungry, go eat pizza. The restaurant is not too large, so you really cannot sit anywhere without sitting next to one of my paintings. The prices are very reasonable. You will see pieces ranging from $20 - $55 and they will be there until October 4th. Maybe one day I can charge over $100, but babysteps. I do not want to get too far ahead of myself.

At one point I was sitting on the back of the booth seat hanging up the last piece and I looked down the wall at all the little stories I painted. I laughed at the secrets they hold and felt a little sad. I felt like I was dropping off my child at college. They are all so grown up and out in the world on their own. I was leaving and felt like I needed to tell them goodbye, so of course I did when Caroline was not looking. It is sad to think I may not see them again, but I guess it would be even more sad if I did not sell any!! Grass is always greener. I guess there is not much risk here. If I fall on my face, I will be happy to bring them back home.

You can view the paintings at: http://picasaweb.google.com/searcyyoder/Paintings#
Keep a look out for a new link later on. I just got a Mac and not sure if I will still use Picasa or if it will change, but I will update ya!

I hope you like them!

Learn Something New Every Day

So long, farewell, auf wiedersehen, goodbye.

Did you know that was how it was spelled or even said?!!!???

I just found this out.

Oh The Tangled Web We Weave

I was at Tomatino’s Pizza the other night enjoying a nice hour long PBR with some friends as we waited for our table (the only table that can sit over four people may I add). I was admiring all of the artwork they have for sale on the walls. They have anything from realistic works to a more abstract image that may remind you of a weird dream you once had, but bottom line is they are all pretty cool in their individual ways.

Then I saw the tiny little sheet of paper underneath each piece stating the requested price. I was astonished. I know how much it does NOT cost to create a painting. I mean, yes, some canvases are more expensive and paints can take a paycheck, but not these. Even if they did use the nicer paints, the canvas was only about 8x8 to maybe 12x12. Seriously, you can get these in packs of three for under $10 at Hobby Lobby. Oh, and you use the same paints on each painting! These prices would have covered your paint cost for an entire series in the selling of one piece of work.

The prices were not outlandish in theory, but for these paintings, I would say they could be negotiated down and still make a pretty penny. So, I got to thinking. I paint. I am not all that good, but I paint and I like them. I could definitely use some extra money to move along the “moving out of my parent’s house” project. So, I made a little call this afternoon and left a message to see what I can do about maybe getting some of my paintings on the wall.

Now, the only hill I have to get over is the idea of losing my paintings. I have this attachment to them, and I am terrified I will never see them again once they are sold. Each painting has a place on my wall so it can let the whole world see it (me). They have been the color that makes my home pretty and the uniqueness that has made my home mine. They cover my room now, making me relax when I walk in the door. So, I am supposed to let some stranger take them and I will never get to see them again or enjoy their presence again? It will be like they were never created and never existed. Oh the drama!

Now, just because a painting could end up on the wall at Tomatino’s Pizza does not guarantee it will sell. They may even put them up there and just take them all down again in a month only to be returned to my room. Now, I would be OK with that, but then you know I would be mad nobody liked them. So then I would just have to go eat worms. Again, drama.

So, you see where I am getting this web from? I get all tied up in things and then have a really hard time letting them go. Even though I know I can live with out them and once they are gone I get over it pretty fast. But still, it is a web and I made it. So now I have to untangle it, so that maybe I could make some money.

Mari Michael

Many times I have referred to my “List of Things To Do In Life”. I have found that some of these wants come more easily than others, yet accomplishing those more difficult wants brings more of a rush and element of confidence.

Among the many ludicrous dreams listed, I do have some that reach deep into the roll I really want to play in this world. I want to write a book. To be able to capture the essence of a story and its emotions in words and colors speaks immeasurable wonders to me, and I want to speak it to you.

A good friend of mine has a soul I envy and a mind I desire. She is one of the most captivating individuals I know and each time I talk to her or read her words, she moves me and chills me. To me, the process of writing a book is just that, a process. Meaning, it will take years to understand the curves and soul of the story I want to tell and how I want to tell it. It will take time and money to communicate this story to someone who can print it for me and lay it all out so that is comes together as one entity speaking to many. I want to be sure each line is heard and each page is perfectly portraying my image. Sometimes I just think too much.

Over the past eight months Mari Michael has traveled through three continents and 19 countries to find herself in Cairo, Egypt. She has been bursting with imagines and ideas through observations. When she started journaling her experiences, I told her she had to write some sort of travel guide when she returned home, but she has far exceeded my expectations. She has taken her life for the past eight months and captured it in the purest form of emotion and has written a book. She has managed to accomplish what I only dream to accomplish before I die! Again, chills me.

You have to read this. The knowledge and the perspectives you will gain is astonishing. You will be moved to look at the world from angles you have never known. As a writer I see the world in words and colors and that is how I observe emotion. As an architect, Mari Michael sees the world in textures and patterns. Combining these two perspectives has at times felt a little overwhelming for me to take in at once, but I want to do it again and again. There are so many stories in this world to be told and so many objects that hold them. Now the challenge is hearing the stories and capturing their movement to reflect it back to you.

Mari Michael, I hope by reading this you get a sense of motivation that you are doing the right thing. Your path in life is strong and bountiful. God has blessed you with your intellect and ability to express it. God has blessed us, for allowing us to hear it. Thank you.

Zoom: A Travel Documentary Through Texture

Mari Michael’s blog